she wears short skirts i wear mage robes
everyone: oh my gOOOOD WHERE CAN I SEE MORE IM GONNA DIE THIS IS SO HOT !1111!
*female celebrity gets her nudes leaked*
everyone: ok but why did she even take those pics,.... she was asking for it lol
Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there’s something about them in that moment that makes you think, “I just really love you”
me when it starts raining: yeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”